We still don't have a date yet but, my girls will be moving out of state to live with their siblings at a relative's house. This will most likely take place within the next few days. I would love to say that I am torn apart but quite honestly I'm not.
I almost feel bad about not feeling horrible right now. The "I could never do that" phrase I always hear from people makes me wonder if somehow I am heartless because I can. I guess I just look at it from a different perspective, the girls'. I think if I was away from my mom and dad and separated from my siblings, would I want to live with strangers longer, or go live with my siblings at a close relatives house. Really it's a no brainer when you take yourself out of the equation.
This has been a very hard and trying month for my family. It's not easy going from one to four children overnight. It's not easy dealing with someone throwing a fit every morning for the last month and finally when everyone starts waking up happy and a routine is beginning to form having to prepare to never see the kids again. It's really hard not to worry about where they are going and if the person who will be taking care of 8 children is up to the challenge. I certainly know I would not be. I pray continuously for this person whose name I may never even know.
I began to find myself wondering if it was all worth it. They were only here for a month, most of that time I felt like I was barely hanging on and certainly not making a difference in their lives in this short time. Then tonight as I was cleaning up the kitchen God whispered into my ear, "those girls who never knew what a family dinner time was, prayed together out loud before you could even sit down at the table. Those girls who slept on the floor and were left home alone, prayed together as a family in their own beds and expected hugs, kisses and to hear "I love you." So maybe, just maybe I am making a small difference in their lives. They probably won't remember me as they get older, but they will remember what love looks like and what structure feels like. I know I will never forget my first foster placement of three little girls who turned my world upside down for a month.
Friday, May 30, 2014
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Mother's Day
Just as we start to get our groove Mother's Day happens. We decided to surprise the kids by having their sibblings over for a ballon releasing ceremony. The kids all signed a paper and released it so it could find its way to mom. They said that they had done this for their deceased brother before.
I can't imagine how overwhelming it was for her to take care of all seven by herself. I also can't imagine the hurt she must be feeling today even if this was her choice. I know that no matter how much love and time I give them I cannot fill the void in their hearts for her. I am so thankful that my mom poured so much into my life. I hope I can do the same for them.
Thursday, May 8, 2014
The first week
It has been a week today that three little girls walked through our door and into our heart. A is 5, B is 4, and I is 2. The first couple of days I was so overwhelmed I was going to ask for a new home to be found. What was I thinking saying yes to three? It wasn't indicative of their behaviors, it was that I was ill equipt to take them.
Once we got a bunk bed in place and a sticker chart for morning and evening routines in place life began to look livable again. The massive amount of appointments needed still overwhelms me but we are getting there. They are a part of a larger sibbling group so we arrange visits with them. Parent visits are a nonissue so I think life will will be smoother after this first month.
Clothes were a huge problem. My girls had been at another home for a week so they had clothes already. The problem is that they range from a 18months to a 6x and all the initials on the tags are wrong. The two and four year can share a 5t shirt so we have got it under control for now.
Once we got a bunk bed in place and a sticker chart for morning and evening routines in place life began to look livable again. The massive amount of appointments needed still overwhelms me but we are getting there. They are a part of a larger sibbling group so we arrange visits with them. Parent visits are a nonissue so I think life will will be smoother after this first month.
Clothes were a huge problem. My girls had been at another home for a week so they had clothes already. The problem is that they range from a 18months to a 6x and all the initials on the tags are wrong. The two and four year can share a 5t shirt so we have got it under control for now.
Friday, May 2, 2014
It's a girl...times 3
The very real and very unfortunate thing about foster care is that there is always more kids. Again we were set to be license May 7th but yesterday morning (May 1st) we had three little girls brought to our home. They are 5, 4 and 2. Life as we know it has changed.
After having taken 27 hours of classes you would think that I would be fully prepared for all of this. Honestly as a person who thrives on structure I feel like a fish out of water right now. They are good kids so I am sure in a few weeks we will have a routine and life will calm down a bit. This morning was full of tears and if I didn't have such a great husband then I would have been crying too.
The classes that we took explained mostly how to parent the kids, and as a parent most of it were things we already do. What I don't feel like we went over is what happens after the classes? What is the process from getting the phone call to to getting through the first few weeks? There are appointments that you have to make but there is no centralized place that lists what it is that you need to do when? Or if there is I certainly did not get it from the caseworker in the 15 minutes that she was there.
Let me walk you through my experience so that you will know what to expect. First you receive a call to and you decide to say yes. The case worker schedules a time to bring the kids to you and do a quick walk through. For us that just meant that she looked at the bedroom they would be staying in. (We did not have adequate beds but she knew that we are going to get bunk beds soon so she approved an air mattress for now for one of them.) They give you a folder full of paperwork (most of which you have never seen before) and ask if you have any questions. You come up with whatever questions that you can think of as the kids explore the house and the pile of their stuff gets spread across the living room. Oddly enough you have a hard time coming up with questions but it doesn't really matter because you don't remember the answers to the ones that you did ask once she leaves.
We spent the rest of the day enrolling for daycare, doing kindergarten enrollment for the fall, getting car seats from the Caring Closet and signing up for WIC. We were all exhausted by the end of the day so I am sure that didn't help our morning to go smoothly. Please pray for all of us during this transitioning time.
After having taken 27 hours of classes you would think that I would be fully prepared for all of this. Honestly as a person who thrives on structure I feel like a fish out of water right now. They are good kids so I am sure in a few weeks we will have a routine and life will calm down a bit. This morning was full of tears and if I didn't have such a great husband then I would have been crying too.
The classes that we took explained mostly how to parent the kids, and as a parent most of it were things we already do. What I don't feel like we went over is what happens after the classes? What is the process from getting the phone call to to getting through the first few weeks? There are appointments that you have to make but there is no centralized place that lists what it is that you need to do when? Or if there is I certainly did not get it from the caseworker in the 15 minutes that she was there.
Let me walk you through my experience so that you will know what to expect. First you receive a call to and you decide to say yes. The case worker schedules a time to bring the kids to you and do a quick walk through. For us that just meant that she looked at the bedroom they would be staying in. (We did not have adequate beds but she knew that we are going to get bunk beds soon so she approved an air mattress for now for one of them.) They give you a folder full of paperwork (most of which you have never seen before) and ask if you have any questions. You come up with whatever questions that you can think of as the kids explore the house and the pile of their stuff gets spread across the living room. Oddly enough you have a hard time coming up with questions but it doesn't really matter because you don't remember the answers to the ones that you did ask once she leaves.
We spent the rest of the day enrolling for daycare, doing kindergarten enrollment for the fall, getting car seats from the Caring Closet and signing up for WIC. We were all exhausted by the end of the day so I am sure that didn't help our morning to go smoothly. Please pray for all of us during this transitioning time.
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