The Backwards Baby

So we had our meeting yesterday and it seemed to go very well. The only thing she said we needed to do was to put a locking door or gate up on the pool, which we already knew we needed to do. We found out a few things that I didn’t come across on my hours of research so I will list them here just in case you are starting your journey of researching:

1. When you adopt through the state of Missouri the state provides Medicare/Medicaid for the child until it turns 12 or 13 (I just don’t remember which one it was)

2. They also provide daycare until that age as well

3. Foster to Adopt is simply a way of saying that the foster parents are adopting. It’s not a program that you can sign up for. You either sign up to foster or adopt and if the plan changes from reunification then you can adopt the child you are already fostering. The plan is almost always reunification unless they have been in foster care 15 of the last 22 months then the state is required to change the plan to adoption.

4. Respite care is relatively easy to do. There are no classes to attend or home studies to pass. They simply do a background check and a walk through of your home and you are good to go.

               -Respite care is basically just babysitting a child in foster care to give the foster family a break. This can be over the weekend or longer depending on the circumstances.

5. The judge can now give a blanket out of state order for the tri-state area so we would not need to have judge approval to take a foster child out of state to see my family in Oklahoma each time we go.

So I guess the coolest thing we found out yesterday is the Respite care stuff. This gives us a way to help those kids in the older age group that may not fit in our family as a forever child but at least give them a safe place to go for a few days. The license coordinator is going to send us cards to get our fingerprinting done and then we will be set to go. The only thing she suggested is that we go ahead and get a crib so that we can do respite care for younger children as well.

That brings me to my blog title “The Backwards Baby”, sorry for such a long intro. So now that we have the green light and could actually have a child stay at our house in a matter of weeks instead of months my initial panic to prepare seems much more justified. The problem is that I have an 8 year old not a baby and while my house is now officially safe for a baby I certainly don’t have anything that a baby needs.

I know that there are many great foundations out there such as Fostering Hope and The Caring Closet that provide foster families with the things that they need for the children. My problem is twofold; first I don’t feel like it would be right to ask someone to donate a crib to me when I’m not really even fostering a child full time. Second, if I were to get pregnant I would run out and buy a brand new crib for my baby. Why should this child have any less than what I would provide it if it were to come from my own womb?

So do you have a baby shower for a child that is yet to come and if so what if it takes a year for it to get here, wouldn’t that be silly to have prepared so early? The crib is a nonnegotiable item to even get a placement overnight so it must be bought as well as bedding but what about a highchair, toys, a dresser, decorations to match the bedding you chose?

Why not just go ahead and set up the nursery as if I was pregnant and expecting? Or would that be a painful reminder that I am not and may not have a baby for quite some time?

I'm sorry that I am offering more questions than answers but I want this blog to be a realistic view of our journey, and I really don't have all the answers. I do know that I need to go shopping for a crib and leave the rest up to God to work out.