Today is the first step in our journey to adopt. I would say the first step in what will prove to be a long journey but quite frankly it already has been a long journey. We sent in our application to start the process in getting licensed to adopt and later today we meet with our licensing specialist at our home.
It honestly feels comparable to taking a pregnancy test and seeing a yes. I have this "we are going to have a baby we better get ready" feeling knowing that I still have several months to prepare for its arrival. Like any newly expectant mother I have scoured the web for essential items. Granted most new mothers first purchases are onesies and receiving blankets and my purchases are to ensure we pass the home study. So the first thing I bought was a 5lb fire extinguisher followed by outlet plugs, cabinet locks, and a baby gate approved for the top of stairs. I have also prepared fire escape plans for every room and have them printed and laminated. I hope the lady doesn’t think I am crazy for going overboard and preparing to quickly.
Like most expectant fathers my husband does not share my immediacy to prepare for the baby. Lucky for him in my hours of searching online blogs about fostering to adopt I ran across a profound statement to which I have applied to our situation. “My husband doesn’t have to share my level of excitement, just my level of commitment.” I also realize that he is the protector of my family and there is certainly the possibility of hurt during this process that he wants shield us from if possible.
It kind of funny to me, as we were filling out the application we came to the part that you select what type of child you would accept in your home. My husband and I had no discussion because we were already in agreement, but when I put down on the paper that we wanted a child of any gender and of any race between 0-24 months I felt a little sad. It broke my heart a little knowing that there are children out there that need homes that would not fit within the boundaries that we had chosen. While it felt good knowing that gender or skin color would not affect our ability to love and nurture a child it hurt to say that age would. See it’s really easy to feel like you are doing something noble when you start this process, I mean a lot of people think about it but very few actually put any actions to their thoughts. When you put restrictions on what type of child that you would accept it really brings you back to the reality that it is just as much about your own desire as it is helping a kid needing a family.
A friend of mine is adopting a 17 year old boy, in fact it is finalized tomorrow and while they didn’t set out to adopt a teenage boy I certainly have no doubt that God put them together. It really blesses my heart to see them together. I guess we all have our own cross to bear when it comes to this subject because at the end of the day there will always be kids out there needing a family to love them. My cross is the age restriction, yours may be feeling called to foster or adopt and never being obedient to that calling, and others might be turning a deaf ear to the need entirely. I realize adoption isn’t for everyone but in Matthew the 25 chapter God makes it very clear that we are to look out for “the least of these” which I have no doubt orphans fall into that category.
35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
I know that not everyone is called to adopt but I would just ask that you see what God is calling you to do about the kids in need. Sorry it wasn’t my intention to mention that in this particular post but I really felt led to adding it.
I love how God does little things to confirm that you are on the right path, because truth be told I still question this decision. I don’t question our ability to love another child of our own but because I have always viewed adoption as giving up on God healing me, so I have moments where I worry that I am giving up on God instead of being obedient. I am sure that satan just trying to get me down but this morning I heard this song for the first time on my way to work and it really reaffirmed that we are on the right path.
I haven’t given up on God, I have submitted to His will. I still fully believe that I will get pregnant but I also believe that it may be with child number 3 instead of number 2.
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