Yesterday after work we went to pick up a crib. Although I wish that we could buy all new everything for the baby, the truth is that we simply can't. My husband and I felt the call to plant a church and while God has opened many doors for us we make about $15,000 less a year. I don't say that to gripe because I believe He doesn't want us getting too comfortable in secular jobs and to rely on the world to provide for us.
So we found a crib and mattress on a Facebook group that matched our furniture. Jessi was so excited to help me put it together. She helped me wipe it all down with Clorox wipes, all the while saying that she hopes that she gets a sister so she can teach her how to be like her. It really warmed my heart to see her so excited. See this journey that we have been on has not just been hard for Chad and I, in fact there isn't a night that goes by or a meal that we eat that Jessi doesn't pray for momma to have a baby. It's hard to see you child yearn for something that you can't give them.
I also think that the fact that we are adopting helps her to normalize her own adoption. Jessi is biologically my child and very soon will be legally Chad's daughter, although he has been Daddy for over half of her life. So her normal is that sometimes kids get adopted to put them in families that will love them and spend time with them like they are supposed to. I honestly don't think she gives it a lot of thought because it is all that she has ever known.
I guess as soon as the end of next week to a month from now we could have a child come through Respite. I recently heard that some foster parents have their foster children go to Respite care over Christmas to avoid buying them presents, that truly broke my heart. I guarantee that if I have a placement for Christmas they will have the full Christmas experience, I know my family wouldn't allow for any less even if I couldn't afford to do it myself.
So for now we wait.....
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